If you believe that we are all one (and act like it) can that “improve” the way that you parent your children?
I think that if we recognized and PRACTICED the truth that what I do for myself I also do for you then we would be raising our children from a very inspired, uplifting and encouraging place.
In other words, how can we harness the power of oneness in parenting?
See I do realize that it is often difficult for us to see how our actions affect others who are not in our immediate “circle of influence.”
For instance it is hard for me to see how my road rage at 12pm affects the argument that a husband and wife have at 10pm. I’m probably not even present to see that argument unfold.
It’s also difficult for me to see that my buying certain foods in Pennsylvania affects the health and well-being of an immigrant family living in California.
These correlations are hard to make when we (in our limited scope) are unable to see the whole picture.
But what if the “whole picture” got smaller?
That is to say it is much easier for us to RECOGNIZE our oneness and interrelatedness when we are dealing with the people in our inner circle. Our spouses, children, friends and co-workers.
Our children are a wonderful way to fully experience and appreciate our oneness with all of life.
Have you ever had a bad morning and lost your temper with your child, only to learn that afternoon that your child had a bad day at school?
On the other hand, have you ever spoken some words of encouragement and love to your child and learned later that he acted in love and gentleness to a classmate who was aggravating him?
The power of oneness is no small insignificant thing!
We would ALL know this to be true if only we took a minute to observe (without judgment) the events and relationships that occur in our own lives.
So how do we use the power of oneness to parent with more love, kindness and compassion?
1. Work on Yourself first
One of the most profound pieces of advice Stomie Omartian gives in her book The Power of a Praying Wife is to pray for YOURSELF first.
The same concept holds true here.
In order to parent from a consciousness of oneness we first need to observe it and recognize it for ourselves.
This moves me into my second point…..
2. Affirm it!
In other words, pray as if you have already received what you asked for.
How does that work exactly? Well your prayer might sound something like “I am one with All there is and I am grateful for this truth.”
Funny how what you affirm (or pray for) tends to show up in your life.
Which brings me to my third point…
3. Act like it!
Since you know that there is only one Power and Presence and you (and everyone else) is one with it, now you can act as if.
Even if you are not one hundred percent certain that what I’m saying here is true, just act as if it were.
Think about it.
What would happen if you acted as if you were one with every person you came in contact with?
More specifically what would happen if you acted as if your children were simply YOU with another face? (Sometimes they look so much like you that it really does seem to be the case)
If you acted as if every thing you did to your children you also did to yourself, would you change your behavior?
Would you change your tone and speak kinder? Would you look them in the eye when they speak to you and hear them out fully before responding?
I’m challenging you (and ME) to just act like your children are YOU (not merely an extension of you) just with a different name and face.
Or children watch our every move.
They learn to be who THEY are by watching who WE are. So it benefits us to BE the things that we wish to teach them.
4. Teach it!
Teaching and training our children is no small task of course.
Every parent has her moments of triumph and accomplishment and other moments of flat our failure. But when we do “get it right” we should recognize it.
When we spontaneously help an elderly neighbor carry his groceries it is NOT bragging to point out why we helped to our children.
Tell your kids why you drive a few minutes out of your way to drop off items at the Salvation Army.
Explain to them why you didn’t yell and cuss back at the driver who cussed you out for cutting him off.
Let them know why you bought the organic berries instead of the conventionally grown ones.
Smooch and cuddle with your spouse when the kids happen to be around so that they can see what love in a marriage looks like.
Kids are inquisitive by nature and often want to know why you do the things you do.
Parenting is the most important and challenging job we can ever do. But reminding ourselves moment by moment that everything we do and say matters to them keeps our heads in the right place.
Everything we do or say shapes them in some way.
This observation alone is all the experiential evidence I need to accept the truth that I am one with my children and they are one with me.
How would living out the power of oneness change the way you parent?