I remember being a really young mom with my first baby. I had it in my little Type-A mind that while the baby “napped” I was going to do all of these important things. You know like do a phone interview with a candidate (I was an executive recruiter back then), or workout, or wash the dishes.
If you have already been through the baby stage you are probably laughing at this sentiment right now like, the much more mature version of myself is laughing.
Life with a baby is just not that predictable. (at least not a really young infant in the 0-3 month age range).
I can remember trying to make it all fit. And make my little bitty baby bend to MY will. I remember feeling frustrated and angry that things weren’t working out the way they SHOULD.
Fast forward 10 years later and truth be told, I still struggle with this “willfulness”. My kids are a lot older and a lot more predictable so I can make more plans (and carry them out) but sometimes, even now, my plans fall to shit!
Sorry Mama that’s just part of the deal when you have kids- right?
They get sick, and we moms change our plans around to accommodate and take care of them. They have a “thing” (performance, track meet etc) at 1pm on a Thursday afternoon and we shift our schedules to make that happen. They wake up at the crack of dawn during your “scheduled” work time, and you’re SOL with getting some projects done in peace.
I’m just saying, life as mom is unpredictable. So what do you do?
When your plans fall to shit here’s a couple of things you can do to keep your head on straight and enjoy the rest of your day without seething over what didn’t go “right”.
1.Remind yourself that it won’t always be like this.
One day, not too long from now, that problem you are having with your child will not even be a thing.
Children grow so quickly and the issue we have with them now, may just dissolve on its own in 6 months. And even if it takes longer than that, NOTHING in this world last forever. And so, this too shall pass.
2.Adopt the attitude that “everything happens for a reason”
Some of us (myself included) like to go (and struggle) against the grain. But that just leaves us tired, frustrated and irritable.
So you couldn’t get your full yoga practice in this morning because your husband was loud and walking around your head and your boys woke up extra early, before they were supposed to. (Oh, my bad, that was me!)
Maybe I just wasn’t meant to practice yoga this morning. I woke up late anyway. And I’m writing this blog post because of that situation. Check one thing off the work to-do list all because things didn’t go the way I PLANNED!
Believing that everything happens for a reason is not about being unrealistically positive. It’s about extracting the lesson from each and every situation. Not matter how crappy it is!
3.Make no excuses for why your joy is missing
This is a biggie for me and a lot of other moms trying to juggle it all. Things happen that we don’t like or that we didn’t plan and we ruminate over it all day. We say in our heads “I can’t believe he was so inconsiderate. I can’t get in any time to myself without somebody wanting something from me.” This may be true (says the woman that has not taken a pee alone in 10 years)
But that is no reason for you not to find your joy. Your pleasure. Your love. Even in the midst of all the shizzle that may be falling apart and not going your way, something IS “right.”
In times like these I like to do a little exercise from Abraham Hicks. It goes like this.
When you are in a funk, ask yourself “what is right?” What is right can be any number of small things like, you’re breathing, you have this moment to do this exercise and re-center, you’re happy your kids are healthy enough to run around and act crazy, you’re glad your husband values his health enough to go workout in the garage not matter how loud it is.
You get the point – right? Doing this instantly changes your perspective and vibration. It is a gratitude practice, without saying the words ‘thank you” or “I’m grateful”.
Want to learn some simple and practical strategies to manage the unpredictability of motherhood without going cray cray?
Check out my 4-Part yoga video series The Art Of Finding Center, and learn how to use yoga to bring a little peace back into your life, even when the shit is hitting the fan!