I want it all. Always have. I wanted the great kids. Three of them. I wanted the great handsome successful husband. I wanted a successful and profitable business of my own. Plus, I wanted the great healthy body and a lifestyle I enjoyed.
Sound familiar? I’ll bet.
We moms have a LOT more life choices now than we ever had in the past. We can be stay at home moms if we want. Work from home moms if we want. Or full time working moms and entrepreneurs if that’s what our heart desires.
But with more choice comes more responsibility. No longer can we look at pass generations of mothers to give us advice, or a blue print of how to manage all the things in our lives that we really desire.
So today I’m going to talk about a “new” “modern” way to look at motherhood. A shift in mindset that has made all the difference in my own fulfillment and stress level.
Here’s what modern moms like you (and I) have to understand about having it all:
You can have EVERYTHING you want, just not ALL AT THE SAME TIME.
This really is NOT a new concept. Its simple math. If you have 24 hours in the day, just like everyone else, then it follows logic that if you say “yes” to some things then you will have to say “no” to other things. Makes sense- right?
This little sentence changed my life. Because it made me realize that Life is just like nature. It’s all about seasons.
In nature we would NOT get pissed off because tomatoes won’t grow in the garden in January (if you live in PA for instance). We get that if we want tomatoes then we need to be planning our garden in January, planting our seeds in April and harvesting our tomatoes in July. And if you want some January tomatoes you better do some canning before the winter.
Yes, I hear you saying now, but I CAN have tomatoes in January even if I live in PA.
Yes you can, but what does it cost you, in the form of stress, work and resources? Sure you can grow tomatoes in a green house. But that means you had to pay for the materials, work to build it and then put out more energy to makes sure the temperature stays just right inside the green house, when it is -25 degrees outside the green house.
Like I said we pay a price for acting against the seasons of nature.
But somehow, us female humans don’t think this kind of natural way of things applies to us. We think we can out smart the seasonality of Life. And in my experience, every time I try to out smart it, I end up getting beat down!
The trick is to realize that each of us has a different season for each thing in our lives. AND unlike the natural world OUTSIDE of your door, you are the one that gets to choose what season you want to be in at any given point.
So you can choose to spend the next 5 years in career building season. Or the next 10 years in baby raising season. Or whatever your heart desires.
However, once you’ve chosen you have to realize that if you have declared this time “career season” then you will have to say “no thanks” to being the primary daily nurturer of your kids. Likewise if declare it “baby raising” season, then you will have to say “no thanks” to so amazing career opportunities.
I can hear the controversy now! But Keya I can certainly have children AND a challenging career at the same time. Yelp you absolutely can. But it is then up to you to choose how involved in each aspect of your life you want to be, because with only 24 hours in a day, something is going to take a back seat right?
And that’s the beauty of choice and seasons. We get to choose where we want to focus most of our time, energy and money at any point in our lives.
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