Well let’s just say that my husband and I have different philosophies about money. I like to save it and he likes to spend it. So I knew that the box the children were so happy to see, probably contained some “crap” that I didn’t think we needed.
Instead of pooh poohing on everyone else’s good time I decided to head downstairs to finish prepping dinner.
As I was cleaning the greens I realized that my hands were doing the work of a cook but my MIND was still replaying those aggravating thoughts from the situation that just happened.
Do you do this too? Ruminate on something that pissed you off even when it’s NOT happening right now?
I realized in that moment that I was not doing myself any favors by repeatedly thinking about something that happened in the past (even it was just 5 minutes ago).
You see, one of the keys to having a happy life is to get over and let go of the BS that happens as quickly as possible.
There are TWO really good reasons for NOT keeping your past negative events on mental repeat.
1.Its Bad For Your Body
The latest research in neuroscience gives us some really interesting facts. (Shout out to Andrew Newberg. He’s one of my favorite neuroscientists! Don’t judge me!)
Turns out, your brain can’t tell what’s real and whats imagined, so why “imagine” bad stuff?
Here’s the thing. Bad things will happen. And they usually only happen ONCE in real life. However, we make that bad thing happen over and over again each time we think about it.
Meanwhile, you body is reacting to your imagined event the same way that it would if the event was actually occurring right now! So EVERY TIME your think about your BS situation, your heart rate goes up, your blood pressure goes up and you breathe really shallow. All things that are NOT good for your body and can drain you physically if your body is under these conditions constantly!
That’s actually one of the cool things about practicing yoga! Yoga is a “practice” that helps us get out of our own heads, so that we don’t send our body into “fight or flight” mode just thinking about something upsetting. I teach specifically how to do this in my 4- part yoga video series The Art of Finding Center. Learn more about those yoga practices here.
2. Its Bad For Your Relationships
Make no mistake about it you ain’t a happy Mama if your relationships suck!
We humans are designed to be social creatures and have intimate bonds with other humans. BUT it’s really hard to bond intimately with your husband (for instance) if you keep replaying in your mind that inconsiderate “thing” he did to you a month ago.
Try as you might to ignore those thoughts and be “nice” to him, you will still be putting off the sink of resentment in your interactions with him.
And who wants to be around a stinky, resentful woman? (sorry but its true)
Stay in your unforgiving funk long enough and the quality of your relationship will begin to erode.
So what’s the Solution?
Well I keep saying you need to let go and move on, but how do you do that exactly?
The answer is to practice being PRESENT.
For me, that day when my husband brought home UPS “stuff,” it meant that while I was cleaning the greens, I JUST needed to clean the greens. I mean, put all of my effort and focus into exactly what I was doing in that moment.
You can practice presence doing anything. Washing dishes. Giving the kids a bath. Driving to work. ANYTHING!
When we are present and fully in the moment, we become aware that, everything RIGHT NOW is a-okay. That’s not to say there aren’t things that need fixing or things that need your attention later, but right now, in this moment ALL your needs are met.
And when you feel that all your needs are met, you are free to enjoy life and be happy!
Want to learn more about how YOU can practice being present?
Check out my 4-Part yoga video series, The Art Of Finding Center designed to teach you how to use yoga as a practice to bring the “calm” and “patience” back into your life, just when you need it most!