If you’re a mother of small-ish children you know the all too familiar feeling of being “touched-out”.

We as mothers spend an incredible amount of time holding, cuddling, soothing and stroking our little ones. All of this intimate touch is necessary for their physical and emotional growth, but it often leaves us feeling spent!

So spent that when its time to give our spouses the sexual attention they deserve we just aren’t in the mood!

Can you relate to that?

I think most of us understand the importance of maintaining a healthy sex life with our partners so I won’t get into the detailed benefits here.

Suffice it to say that engaging in a little nookie on a regular basis

1. Reduces the physical symptoms of stress
2. Creates (or maintains) an intimate bond between you and your beloved
3. And can help keep the “peace” in a marriage

Assuming we all know WHY we need to “get it on” sometimes, today we’re going to focus on how to get yourself from “touched-out” to “give it to me baby!”

Let me first begin by saying that each one of us is responsible for our OWN sexuality. This is an especially important concept for women to understand, because our sexual response depends on much more than simply looking at a hot body. Our turn on is often tied up in our emotional state. How stressed (or not) we are. How safe we feel with our partner or our environment. And how good we feel about ourselves.

Since no one else can make us FEEL anything (including happy, safe and sexy) its up to us to get our own sexy minds right! That’s right – your man can do his best to create a sexy environment but if you’re not into it…..well, you’re not into it!

With that said, here are 3 tips you can use to get you in the mood and at the ready, whenever the moment strikes!

1. Stop Thinking About Sex! Yeah, I know this seems backwards, but hear me out. Us ladies can completely obsess about sex in a bad way! We worry if we’re doing it right or if we are initiating with our man enough. We worry that if we don’t offer sexual attention at least “x” times per week then we’ll have a grumpy man to deal with. STOP! There is absolutely nothing “sexy” about worrying about sex. Instead go do something that makes you FEEL good. (That activity does not have to be related to sex). Good sex feels good- right? So to get ourselves in the mood for a little bump and grind we need to engage in activities that make us feel in similar (good) ways that we want to feel during sex. Personally I like to dance (I take a NIA class that includes lots of feminine, sensual movements.) For me this activity feels good in my body so it makes me more sexually available to my husband later.
2. Fantasize! Hey, there is no shame in a few “dirty” thoughts. Sexual fantasy helps us get in touch with our own desires. It lets us know what really turns us on. Things that maybe we can act out with our spouse later (wink wink). The point in fantasy is to place no boundaries on it! Got a fantasy about a hot stranger? So what! Explore those thoughts and good feelings! It’s your partner that’s going to reap the benefits of that imagined encounter!
3. Read! Don’t start yawning yet! There are some good reads out there that can stoke your sexual fire. Of course you can read romance novels. They’re great and have lots of delicious adventures to get your juices flowing. But I like to read books about feminine sexuality, many of which teach you even more strategies to bring out your inner seductress. One of my favorites is “Sexual Awakening For Women, by Shakti Malan”. (Affiliate Link)

Your mission (if you choose to accept it ladies) is to pick one, two or all of this tips and schedule a time to practice them consistently. Go to that dance class or set time aside to dance in the house. Read the book or set time aside to just delve deep into a sizzling fantasy! With regular attention to this aspect of yourself, I’m sure you’ll see your sexual desire grow. I know I did.