If there was a group-help meeting for control freaks, like there is for recovering alcoholics, I would be at those meetings.
“Hi, I’m Keya and I am a control freak!”
There are some wonderfully positive things that go along with having this personality trait. Control freaks are very diligent. We are good at task management and time management. We get a lot of things done. And NO ONE would ever call us “lazy.”
On the flip side, because we work so hard (getting all those things done) we also burn out!
We also have a hard time NOT knowing what’s coming next in our lives or letting other people (even people we trust) take the lead.
Simple things like a snow storm heading to town, may not frustrate others but they can completely throw the control freak into a tizzy of anxiety!
Not because we are “scared” of snow. Of course we KNOW how to take precautions and make plans. But things of nature are UNPREDICTABLE.
Will the kids be out of school due to the storm?
Will I be able to get my work done if they are home all day?
What about that meeting I had scheduled?
How can I cancel that?!?
I just do not like when a wrench get’s thrown into my well laid out plans!
But rest assured fellow control freak mamas, there is a way to tame the Type-A monster within!
The solution that works for me is Mirror Work!
Metaphysical author and founder of Hayhouse Radio, Louise Hay is a huge advocate of this kind of practice.
It is exactly how it sounds. You stand in front of a mirror and talk to yourself. The same way you would talk compassionately to your own child if they were caught in a panic.
While I do not have an everyday mirror work practice, I do use the practice I’m about to share with you when I find myself in a control freakish jam!
Here’s a simple mirror work process to help you manage uncertainty.
- Sit for a moment and identify what’s really bothering you. In the case of a snow storm coming to “mess up” my plans, I’m not really upset about the snow. I’m really upset that I won’t be able to get my work done!
- Create an affirmation around your concern. For my example an affirmation would be something like: “The work will be there when the snow clears, so I can take a day off today!” I realized that this particular affirmation may make some of us even more anxious. If it does try instead: “I have excellent focus. I can get my work done even with the kids around.”
- Check in with your body to see if that affirmation makes you feel better or worse. Our body tells us things all the time. We know in our body what it FEELS like to be “stressed” don’t we? The point is to create an affirmation that brings you emotional RELIEF from the anxiety you feel.
- Get in the mirror. Look yourself in the eye. Find within you the same kind of compassion you would have for your own child. In mirror work we are really allowing our “higher Self” to speak to our physical self. Say your affirmation as you look into your eyes 10-20 times. Complete your mirror work session by saying “It’s okay. I’m okay. Everything is okay” three times.
- Sit and be still for a few minutes. This is a time to let it all sink in. Don’t turn on the TV. Don’t get on your smart phone. Sit down and notice your body. Notice how the anxiety has decreased. If those thoughts about you being insane for doing this practice come up (and they will), acknowledge them and say your affirmation again. Then repeat the closing affirmation (It’s okay, I’m okay, Everything’s okay) three more times.
This entire practice takes about 5-7 minutes, but this short commitment is so well worth the effort!
Stay calm. And be Blessed Mamas
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