Sometimes you feel yourself shifting into a new paradigm of being. That’s how I’m feeling right now. Like my whole self is moving into a different way of living and having my being in this world. It doesn’t feel forced, although many things have been forcefully taken away (or regretfully relinquished) in order for this new phase to begin.
This is not just about Wu Wei. Or doing, by not doing. I am moving into yoga. Yes yoga. Not the practice. Not the discipline. But, the state of yoga. The state of union.
Things that are tangible and of this world are falling away as priorities. I used to (and still do) describe meditation, not as making the “noise” stop, but instead as letting the noise be in the background while you focus on being. You know the noise is still there, you are just choosing NOT to give it your attention because you know that those thoughts or that noise is NOT nearly as important as being in meditation. As communing with Source.
You know that a thought that’s good will rise to your awareness if and when you need to take action and so, you just BE.
Well that’s how my life feels right now. The goals, financial, career, health, all of them that I set for myself still carry weight, but they have fallen into the background. Not because they are not worthy, but because I’m realizing that none of them are as important as my connection and openness to Source.
What’s interesting is that all of my practice, ritual and devotions have fallen to the wayside too. Those tools I’ve learned to use to reduce my stress and center me are just tools. Even the very practices I teach in my Weekend Recharge Program and Mama’s Meditation Course are starting to be less and less a part of my everyday experience. (BTW If you’re curious about these two mom’s only yogic stress relief program click here to learn more àhttp://nourished-motherhood.com/work-with-me/products/)
Yes, I still sometimes fish them out to relieve anxiety or to experience connection when I want. But overall the need for those #everydamnday tools are lessened. Maybe, just maybe, yogic practices and rituals aren’t designed to be things you DON’T have to do for the rest of your life. They aren’t a pharmaceutical after all.
Maybe they are practices that when you do them consistently and with earnest you actually get to a place of not needing them all the time. For me, I know that I don’t need asana to prepare my mind and body for meditation anymore. I can just sit and settle into meditation almost any time. I no longer need to set aside time for silence, solitude and communing with Source. It’s just a natural part of my everyday life.
You know it’s kind of like learning to eat a healthy diet. At first, when you’re just beginning to introduce a new way of eating you obsess over it. You portion control, count calories. You assigned meal times and plan, plan, plan it all out. After several months or years of living and eating like this you sort of fall into a rhythm with your body. When you’re hungry you reach for the foods you know to be healthy and satisfying. When you have a craving you know how and what to satisfy it. But, when you become unbalanced in your eating (say after a big holiday or vacation) you pull out your “tools” of portion control and meal times etc to reign you back in.
That’s where I am spiritually. Part of me (the devotee) wants to have the ritual. I want to be a good little yogini and good little yoginis have rituals – right? But the larger part of me recognizes that if I just stay open, Source will tell me when to practice. When to create more structure. When to let go of the structure and everything else.
This is the epitome of a surrendered life. A yogic life.
For once in my life I’m not interested in manifesting anything. I’m solely interested in sensing the energy of a given moment and simply lining up with it. I feel like that’s my only purpose right now. That lining up with the energy of each moment will guide me into all of the “background” goals that reside within me.
All the synchronicities are pointing in this direction. I have no clue what’s to come in my life. And I have no intention of trying to figure it out. None of this feels weird, or exciting or scary. It all just feels perfectly natural. Like winter gradually turning into spring. Like yeah, I see this is heading some where and I’m happy to follow the rabbit hole.
Here’s to a surrendered “yogic living” week mamas!